With all these articles about things going wrong it can seem that university is something to stay well away from.
University can be an amazing place to learn and to work and there are universities which, when a major issues happens, are ready to work through it properly but there are universities which are unable to work through issues because they are all asking the big question; “does this affect our duty of care?”
All universities have a duty of care for staff and students and if they feel that a student is a danger to themselves (like suicide and self-harm) or others then they can refuse the student access to a course or even tell them to leave the course.
With autism, especially those of us who are older, we have been diagnosed only after a serious issue such as self-harming or aggressive behaviour but you can still go to university.
Really make sure that the university knows how to work with people who have autism by talking to them at the open days. Keep your disability worker up to date with what is going on and make sure you have someone to go to when things go wrong.
So is university worth it?
The answer is the same for every person autism or not; if you like the course, want or need to study, and feel ready to move to a new school then yes! University is only a problem if people aren’t paying attention and understanding what autism is which is rare so don’t let that change your mind about what you want to do.
Thursday, 25 November 2010
Am I a Danger to Someone?
With autism there are communication problems, with autism there are difficulties with imagination and with autism there can be behaviour issues but we can manage them…right?
We can come across as abrasive, rude, demanding and people don’t like that. When there are conversations we butt in or don’t talk to people for hours so we can seem self-centred. When conversations end and people are going home we still don’t know whether we are meant to walk with them or leave so they think we are following them. But does that mean we are dangerous? They can certainly believe so.
But in reality we’re not dangerous but because someone believes it they complain and decide that you are some kind of monster when all you wanted to do was help.
Autism is easy to understand…well actually it’s not, and reading the quick guide off the National Autistic Society’s web page doesn’t mean you know all there is to know about the student but schools and businesses alike think they do and just because they don’t understand will mean they won’t try to understand and because they haven’t tried…they refuse you admittance to the course.
What one person with autism does is not what another person with autism will do because autism is a spectrum, from high-functioning to low-functioning, from speaking to crowds to spending their time alone in their room.
When someone says that you could be a danger to other people and you have no history of violence then they should think again! Just because someone has behaviour issues does not make them a monster and it is disability discrimination if they say so!
Make sure support workers and other people are made aware of what is being said about you and deal with this comment before decisions are made using it!
This is bullying and cruelty and should be stopped! Ignorance is no reason to make someone else’s life hell.
We can come across as abrasive, rude, demanding and people don’t like that. When there are conversations we butt in or don’t talk to people for hours so we can seem self-centred. When conversations end and people are going home we still don’t know whether we are meant to walk with them or leave so they think we are following them. But does that mean we are dangerous? They can certainly believe so.
But in reality we’re not dangerous but because someone believes it they complain and decide that you are some kind of monster when all you wanted to do was help.
Autism is easy to understand…well actually it’s not, and reading the quick guide off the National Autistic Society’s web page doesn’t mean you know all there is to know about the student but schools and businesses alike think they do and just because they don’t understand will mean they won’t try to understand and because they haven’t tried…they refuse you admittance to the course.
What one person with autism does is not what another person with autism will do because autism is a spectrum, from high-functioning to low-functioning, from speaking to crowds to spending their time alone in their room.
When someone says that you could be a danger to other people and you have no history of violence then they should think again! Just because someone has behaviour issues does not make them a monster and it is disability discrimination if they say so!
Make sure support workers and other people are made aware of what is being said about you and deal with this comment before decisions are made using it!
This is bullying and cruelty and should be stopped! Ignorance is no reason to make someone else’s life hell.
Thursday, 11 November 2010
Difficult Decisions
Making decisions is a hard thing, especially when it involves a big change. Renting a house, picking which university you are going to, buying something expensive are all things which require a lot of thought and brings about big changes.
You worry that you aren’t making the right decision, that doing this could potentially ruin your life but that’s not the case. Sometimes making big moves makes things better and with all the planning and thinking you do around this decision means that you are less likely to be making a poor decision.
There is always stress as you wait for confirmation of your rent, university place or order but you have to remember that there is nothing you can do until it arrives or you move. Nearly all the time you are happy with your decision but only after you see the outcome. Have faith in yourself to make these decisions and see them through, they may be worth more than you ever imagined!
The most important thing to know is that you aren’t going to be punished for making the ‘wrong’ decision and there are always other options if you don’t like what you get.
You worry that you aren’t making the right decision, that doing this could potentially ruin your life but that’s not the case. Sometimes making big moves makes things better and with all the planning and thinking you do around this decision means that you are less likely to be making a poor decision.
There is always stress as you wait for confirmation of your rent, university place or order but you have to remember that there is nothing you can do until it arrives or you move. Nearly all the time you are happy with your decision but only after you see the outcome. Have faith in yourself to make these decisions and see them through, they may be worth more than you ever imagined!
The most important thing to know is that you aren’t going to be punished for making the ‘wrong’ decision and there are always other options if you don’t like what you get.
Wednesday, 10 November 2010
Communication Error!
Help!
You’re in a meeting with a disability officer and some high up person and they’re concerned about an email you sent. They say it was inappropriate, in-sighted student to rebel, was insulting or something along those lines!
Of course you cry, look at them in disbelief and are unable to say anything but just because the meeting is over doesn’t mean you have missed your chance to tell them what happened!
Communication errors happen all the time when you have autism, whether it be in a meeting, over the phone, by text, letter or email. We wouldn’t be autistic if we didn’t!
You’re a nice person and hate to get into fights, just staying out the way so people don’t shout at you is how you want it to be but now you’re being treated like a bully or serious troublemaker!
With autism we use phrases which we pick up, not that we understand them, and that is where things go wrong.
What we might think is a good way to end an email may actually be something else entirely and phrases which we think are a common way to greet someone is actually an insult!
These people in this meeting need to know it and should know it especially if you are registered with the university as having autism but sadly people just don’t pay attention and decide things without looking at the facts. If it’s something they wouldn’t do then they assume that it’s something no one should do but we’re all different!
Talk to your disability officer, I doubt you want to see that high up person again (they weren’t nice) and make sure they understand what you were trying to say.
At university there’s all these big words and complex sentences which we don’t understand but we get the gist. It’s transferring those big words and complex sentences into essays and emails that we don’t get right and the university should know this.
Just make sure you let the right people know and tell someone because otherwise the university will be happy to label you as a troublemaker for their own mistake!
Also if you're worried about this happening to you or just want to be careful, tell you disability officer and work with them on how to write emails and such. They can do this for you!
You’re in a meeting with a disability officer and some high up person and they’re concerned about an email you sent. They say it was inappropriate, in-sighted student to rebel, was insulting or something along those lines!
Of course you cry, look at them in disbelief and are unable to say anything but just because the meeting is over doesn’t mean you have missed your chance to tell them what happened!
Communication errors happen all the time when you have autism, whether it be in a meeting, over the phone, by text, letter or email. We wouldn’t be autistic if we didn’t!
You’re a nice person and hate to get into fights, just staying out the way so people don’t shout at you is how you want it to be but now you’re being treated like a bully or serious troublemaker!
With autism we use phrases which we pick up, not that we understand them, and that is where things go wrong.
What we might think is a good way to end an email may actually be something else entirely and phrases which we think are a common way to greet someone is actually an insult!
These people in this meeting need to know it and should know it especially if you are registered with the university as having autism but sadly people just don’t pay attention and decide things without looking at the facts. If it’s something they wouldn’t do then they assume that it’s something no one should do but we’re all different!
Talk to your disability officer, I doubt you want to see that high up person again (they weren’t nice) and make sure they understand what you were trying to say.
At university there’s all these big words and complex sentences which we don’t understand but we get the gist. It’s transferring those big words and complex sentences into essays and emails that we don’t get right and the university should know this.
Just make sure you let the right people know and tell someone because otherwise the university will be happy to label you as a troublemaker for their own mistake!
Also if you're worried about this happening to you or just want to be careful, tell you disability officer and work with them on how to write emails and such. They can do this for you!
What worries you most about university?
What is it about university or at university that you worry about or is very difficult?
Please leave comment
Please leave comment
From College to University
College = stay at home, go to school nearby, happy and safe environment where everyone knows you.
University = far from home, scary new place, nobody knows you and far too much socialising.
WRONG!
University is a scary process but only if you let it be. Get rid of those fears by visiting the university before you go and make sure you look at the accommodation.
Also open days are a great time to meet your lecturers, see where you will have lessons and time to ask all those questions about the course before you go. There will also be accommodation there to see and ask questions about and the disability department will be around too just waiting for you. (I even got an email from one university officer introducing herself and asking to see me before I even went!)
So now you know about your course, your support and your accommodation! Finance will also be around too so money worried are covered, but that still doesn’t get rid of all those fears.
You still have to leave home (providing you don’t live nearby or commute) and packing is a little stressful but you can always ask your family or friends to bring things up for you and that list you’ve revised 5 times covers pretty much everything.
When you get to university you don’t have to go out drinking all the time or even spend loads of time with other people. There are loads of people at university who don’t drink or spend their lives socialising so you’re not alone!
Any worries or problems do not mean everything is over and time to go home! The disability department will be there for you and can help you work through any small issues. It’s just like being at school again (without all the home bells and uniform) and you survived that!
Just because you have autism doesn’t mean you cannot go to university and there are rules even laws there to protect you. Just stick to what you want to do!
University = far from home, scary new place, nobody knows you and far too much socialising.
WRONG!
University is a scary process but only if you let it be. Get rid of those fears by visiting the university before you go and make sure you look at the accommodation.
Also open days are a great time to meet your lecturers, see where you will have lessons and time to ask all those questions about the course before you go. There will also be accommodation there to see and ask questions about and the disability department will be around too just waiting for you. (I even got an email from one university officer introducing herself and asking to see me before I even went!)
So now you know about your course, your support and your accommodation! Finance will also be around too so money worried are covered, but that still doesn’t get rid of all those fears.
You still have to leave home (providing you don’t live nearby or commute) and packing is a little stressful but you can always ask your family or friends to bring things up for you and that list you’ve revised 5 times covers pretty much everything.
When you get to university you don’t have to go out drinking all the time or even spend loads of time with other people. There are loads of people at university who don’t drink or spend their lives socialising so you’re not alone!
Any worries or problems do not mean everything is over and time to go home! The disability department will be there for you and can help you work through any small issues. It’s just like being at school again (without all the home bells and uniform) and you survived that!
Just because you have autism doesn’t mean you cannot go to university and there are rules even laws there to protect you. Just stick to what you want to do!
Moving into a New House
You’ve stayed in halls for a year and now you’re looking for a place to stay. I wouldn’t stay in halls all the time because they can throw you out at a moment’s notice and are usually more expensive than renting privately.
Researching on the internet is the best way to go. Sites like www.spareroom.co.uk, www.rightmove.co.uk, www.accommodationforstudents.com or www.homesforstudents.co.uk are where to look.
Sign up and search for homes in your area. Always visit the property before renting and find out everything from rent, monthly fuel costs, bonds and reservation fees and take a really good look at every room in the property (garden included). Arriving early is a good plan because then you can see what the surrounding area is like too.
If you like the place find out when you can move in, how long the landlord is letting for and anything about other housemates if you don’t know them already.
Remember, you don’t have to form a group to fit the house. Single room rent is also available so don’t just try to find anyone to live with.
Packing and moving, well, I always have a plan (like all of us with autism) and I pack what I’m going to need first and make sure that I take those boxes to the house and start unpacking before I get the rest (if that is possible).
Things like decorations, books, clothing and what can go under the bed are easiest to put away then everything else just fits around that.
Try to unpack as much as possible but if it’s getting too much don’t be afraid to take some time out and take a look at the area, you never know what short cuts you might find.
Researching on the internet is the best way to go. Sites like www.spareroom.co.uk, www.rightmove.co.uk, www.accommodationforstudents.com or www.homesforstudents.co.uk are where to look.
Sign up and search for homes in your area. Always visit the property before renting and find out everything from rent, monthly fuel costs, bonds and reservation fees and take a really good look at every room in the property (garden included). Arriving early is a good plan because then you can see what the surrounding area is like too.
If you like the place find out when you can move in, how long the landlord is letting for and anything about other housemates if you don’t know them already.
Remember, you don’t have to form a group to fit the house. Single room rent is also available so don’t just try to find anyone to live with.
Packing and moving, well, I always have a plan (like all of us with autism) and I pack what I’m going to need first and make sure that I take those boxes to the house and start unpacking before I get the rest (if that is possible).
Things like decorations, books, clothing and what can go under the bed are easiest to put away then everything else just fits around that.
Try to unpack as much as possible but if it’s getting too much don’t be afraid to take some time out and take a look at the area, you never know what short cuts you might find.
Are You STALKING!?!?
One of the biggest problems we all find with have autism is not knowing social boundaries or recognising body language.
So far you have been told not to keep butting into conversations, not to stand too close to someone, make eye contact once in a while but now you’ve been accused of stalking!
This is very hard to take in especially when texting, making calls even writing emails worry you because of past experiences of people when contacting them. It’s always been better face to face or to avoid them altogether so how are you a stalker?
Someone you know and get along with, even see regularly, gives you their email or mobile and insist you send them a message and this frightens you but you know this person so sending that message won’t make them hate you?
They reply and everything seems fine but you only contact them when they’ve told you to or, in an emergency, if someone else said you should be ok to contact them.
Of course you still prefer face to face so go to talk to them quickly but since they’re busy you wait until they have finished and then try to catch them, you don’t want them hating you for butting into their conversation.
Suddenly there’s a complaint that you are stalking them and this doesn’t make sense! They say you are waiting for them a lot, texting them too much and are worried that you are going to follow them home!
It makes no sense and you feel like a monster, staying away from them so they don’t feel you are stalking them, but you have lost a friend and you never want to accept anyone’s number again and refuse to wait for people even if they told you to wait for them.
It hurts but you need to tell people!
Contact your disability officer if you can. They can help you sort out what you are going to do from now on and help you recognise when someone thinks you’re stalking them.
Talk to a friend, strange as it may seem not everyone thinks you are stalking them and are fine with the way you contact each other.
If this person is taking legal action then see the Citizens Advice Bureau. It’s a good idea to have someone to get your side across and not to be left to horrible accusations.
Remember, people like their space and there’s no harm checking with them that they’re ok with you but just because someone says you’re a monster doesn’t mean its true!
So far you have been told not to keep butting into conversations, not to stand too close to someone, make eye contact once in a while but now you’ve been accused of stalking!
This is very hard to take in especially when texting, making calls even writing emails worry you because of past experiences of people when contacting them. It’s always been better face to face or to avoid them altogether so how are you a stalker?
Someone you know and get along with, even see regularly, gives you their email or mobile and insist you send them a message and this frightens you but you know this person so sending that message won’t make them hate you?
They reply and everything seems fine but you only contact them when they’ve told you to or, in an emergency, if someone else said you should be ok to contact them.
Of course you still prefer face to face so go to talk to them quickly but since they’re busy you wait until they have finished and then try to catch them, you don’t want them hating you for butting into their conversation.
Suddenly there’s a complaint that you are stalking them and this doesn’t make sense! They say you are waiting for them a lot, texting them too much and are worried that you are going to follow them home!
It makes no sense and you feel like a monster, staying away from them so they don’t feel you are stalking them, but you have lost a friend and you never want to accept anyone’s number again and refuse to wait for people even if they told you to wait for them.
It hurts but you need to tell people!
Contact your disability officer if you can. They can help you sort out what you are going to do from now on and help you recognise when someone thinks you’re stalking them.
Talk to a friend, strange as it may seem not everyone thinks you are stalking them and are fine with the way you contact each other.
If this person is taking legal action then see the Citizens Advice Bureau. It’s a good idea to have someone to get your side across and not to be left to horrible accusations.
Remember, people like their space and there’s no harm checking with them that they’re ok with you but just because someone says you’re a monster doesn’t mean its true!
Monday, 8 November 2010
No course for you!
When you go to university you worry about the accommodation, friends you will or won’t make and what work you need to do for your course. What you don’t worry about is arriving at university, being told that they can’t support you and have to leave your accommodation. You’re given no reason, no support and return home in tears never wanting to return to education again – at least not to another university.
The question is ‘Is this legal?’
NO, this is disability discrimination at its worst unless the university is using a fitness to study policy but even then you can demand the reasons for rejection from any university and those should be given within 10 days!
What happens now? Well you write a complaints letter to the university outlining what has happened and request the reasons for rejection. Both of these should be solved in 10 days. If you are still not happy you can contact several organisations (links page) who can guide you through what you are entitled to, look at the complaint again or even help you take legal action against the university!
The university may be using what they call a duty of care where if they feel the course will cause you mental or physical harm but don’t assume that these fancy phrases mean what they are doing is right! You hold a right to appeal whatever they say and if their decision is causing more mental or physical harm then the chances are they are in the wrong! These procedures are there to protect you not destroy you!
Remember to keep a record of all letters, emails, summary of meetings – these will help you fight your case!
All university rules and procedures should be available on their website and legal information is available at http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/index.htm.
The question is ‘Is this legal?’
NO, this is disability discrimination at its worst unless the university is using a fitness to study policy but even then you can demand the reasons for rejection from any university and those should be given within 10 days!
What happens now? Well you write a complaints letter to the university outlining what has happened and request the reasons for rejection. Both of these should be solved in 10 days. If you are still not happy you can contact several organisations (links page) who can guide you through what you are entitled to, look at the complaint again or even help you take legal action against the university!
The university may be using what they call a duty of care where if they feel the course will cause you mental or physical harm but don’t assume that these fancy phrases mean what they are doing is right! You hold a right to appeal whatever they say and if their decision is causing more mental or physical harm then the chances are they are in the wrong! These procedures are there to protect you not destroy you!
Remember to keep a record of all letters, emails, summary of meetings – these will help you fight your case!
All university rules and procedures should be available on their website and legal information is available at http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/index.htm.
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